Second Skin (half-assed sonnet, hehe)

[luceluna]

something relatively new from yours truly.... my form of a sonnet! heh

i'm working on a real bitch of a piece right now, too.... it frustrates me...



~~~~~~



All hinges on light –
Absence, essence, smiles and blueberries.
Stoned, the sky is drained of all but brightness;
Like a shy baby you rub your face.

Perhaps life is a ball, tossed from foot to eye.
Gullies thrive in your voice:
A brooding field awaiting thunder,
Foal and all.

Each moment you flicker and vanish
I spread, a ridiculous condiment.
I am saving your place, though:

Days may be dogfights,
But need, large as Canada or death,
Is a sprawl of attraction.

[just a girl]

there is an excellent use of imagery in this sonnet, plus you are able to show depth of sentiment yet indicate an overall sense of hope.  

*****

you've shown such great improvement this past year, nice 2 see, good job!!  ;D  ::hugz::

[mesmerised]

alex, you told me about this. i can see the effor you've put into it...you kinda sound like you're writing an essay.

dan you are awesome. especially the first verse. although the word stoned doesn't really fit in. it seems like you're trying to prove some kind of point?

and after that... perhaps life is a ball.... hmmm.

sorry if i offend.
love el

[luceluna]

perhaps you take things too literally, stoner (i mean, ellie)

[just a girl]

hahaha
good call dan  
oh and 'welcome ' ellie, LMAO haha  

[mesmerised]

damn yous all  
and nice to be here.
and by the way i am pure and innocent.

[just a girl]

yeah sureeeee ellie, sure