Timeless wisdom from movie quotes

[Ariela]

I think that almost any great lesson you can learn can come from either a movie quote or a song lyric. So here's the place to post the best advice you get from the films you've seen, or heck, at least make us laugh. And remember, www.imdb.com is your quote friend.

To start it out, here's some great quotes from a hopelessly cheesy but immensely quotable movie, "You've Got Mail":

"The Godfather answers all of life's questions. What to pack for a trip? "Leave the gun, take the cannolis.""

(which is, btw, very true. I can't remember the whole "go for the mattresses" quote, but it's one of the best lines ever.)

"For me the Internet is just yet another way of being rejected by women."

And just for Dan.....
"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall! Decaf! Cappuccino!"

And on that note, I'd like a tall skinny mocha with extra chocolate please.

[Mommar]

"Where are the white women at!?!?!?!?!"

[Mommar]

Grr, those damn faces.  Just for that, "'scuse me while I whip this out."

[luceluna]

heh, i've heard much worse things said about starbucks, dana

some kewl quotes from the X-Files Movie:

Fox Mulder:            "I'm the key figure in an ongoing government charade, the plot to conceal the truth about the existence of extraterrestrials. It's a global conspiracy, actually, with key players in the highest levels of power, that reaches down into the lives of every man, woman, and child on this planet, so, of course, no one believes me. I'm an annoyance to my superiors, a joke to my peers. They call me Spooky. Spooky Mulder, whose sister was abducted by aliens when he was just a kid and who now chases after little green men with a badge and a gun, shouting to the  heavens or to anyone who will listen that the fix is in, that the sky is falling and when it hits it's gonna be the shit-storm of all time."

Fox Mulder:            "After all you've seen you can just walk away?"
Dana Scully:      "I have. I did. It's done."

Fox Mulder:            "But you saved me. As difficult and frustrating as it's been sometimes, your God-damned strict rationalism and science have saved me a thousand times over. You kept me honest. You made me a whole person. I owe you everything, and you owe me nothing. I don't know if I want to do this alone. I don't even know if I can."

(that's my fave.... *sigh*)

by the way, www.imdb.com rocks!

[Ariela]

Do NOT even start me on XF quotes, Dan. I could probably quote about 1/2 of the first five seasons, or at least I could at one point. I was a sick twisted fan.  

"Tennessee. Snakes. Thank you Mulder. Thank you very much."

Be prepared to be sickened by the latest season when y'all get it in Aussie-land. Mulder calls Scully "Dearest Dana" on email.  

[Mommar]

Sickened?  Why?

[luceluna]

"Dearest Dana"?!  

i watched Go! for the squillionth time the other night, so i thought i post some quotes from it.

Claire: Gay men are so hot. It's tragic.
~~~~~~

Zack:      It really didn't go as bad as it could have.
Adam:      A girl is dead, Zack.
Zack:      I didn't say it went perfectly.
~~~~~~

[Selling allergy medicine as drugs]
Ronna:      You know what makes it even better? If you take like a lot of pot with it. I mean like, like a lot of pot.
~~~~~~

[Ariela]

Mulder calls Scully "Scully" and Scully calls Mulder "Mulder". As much as I like my first name it's sacrilige for him to call her Dana.

A couple of other X-Files quotes, because I'm a dork. :-P

"The truth is out there Mulder....and so are lies."

"Trust no one, Mr. Mulder."

Mulder: He just wants some dating advice.
Scully: From whom?
Mulder: Yours truly. [Long silence.] Hello? Scully?
Scully: Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?
Mulder: I will talk to you later.
[hangs up]
Scully: The blind leading the blind.

And some quotes from the movie I saw tonight, "When Harry Met Sally":

Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.

Marie: The point is, he just spent $120 on a new nightgown for his wife. I don't think he's ever gonna leave her.
Sally Albright: No one thinks he's ever gonna leave her.
Marie: You're right, you're right, I know you're right.

Harry: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Sally Albright: I am not your consolation prize, Harry.

[luceluna]

yay! X-Files quotes! i am having such a craving for a big X-Files geekout right now... wanna joing me, Dana?

Cigarette Smoking Man: "Nothing vanishes without a trace."

~~~

Scully: I mean, there's nothing odd about...(toads start falling from the sky, then stop)
Mulder: So, lunch?
Scully: Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!
Mulder: Guess their parachutes didn't open.  What did you say about this place not feeling odd?

~~~

Scully: What ever happened to trust no one?
Mulder: I changed it to trust everyone.  Didn't I tell you?

;D

[Ariela]

I just realized I opened this thread and the only movies I've quoted are Nora Ephron films. This does not look good - you're gonna get the wrong idea about my viewing habits. Here's some more:

"Magnolia":
Jimmy Gator: The book says, we might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us.

Claudia Wilson Gator: Now that I've met you, would you object to never seeing me again?

Gwenovier: What are you doing?
Frank T.J. Mackey: I'm quietly judging you.

Frank T.J. Mackey: In this life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve -- it's what you take.

Claudia Gator: I'll tell you everything, and you tell me everything, and maybe we can get through all the piss and shit and lies that kill other people.

"Chasing Amy":
Banky: All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dickin'.

Alyssa: I love you, I always will. Know that. But I'm not your fucking *sleeper*. (damn self-editing MB)

Banky: [to Alyssa] Since you like chicks, right, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?

Holden McNeil: It's not who you love, it's how.

Silent Bob: But, by the time I figured this all out, it was too late; she moved on. And all I had to show for it was some foolish pride which then gave way to regret. She was the girl. I know that now. But, I pushed her away. So I've spend every day since then chasing Amy. So to speak.

And one of my all time favs as a liberal, The Last Supper:
Paulie: We've got to call the police. They'll understand.
Luke: Sure they would. Grad student kills war hero with a knife. You'll probably just get a ticket.

Luke: What if you kill somebody whose death makes the world a better place?

Jude: The conservatives are effective. They do things. All we do is buy animal-friendly mascara.

[luceluna]

whaa?! no more X-Files quotes? *cries* i was just getting to the silly ones, too!

okay, if you INSIST, i'll quote some Kevin Smith too

Dogma:

Bethany:  What's he like? God?
Metatron: Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor.

Bethany: Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around?
Jay: We're here to pick up chicks.
Bethany: Excuse me?
Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?

Jay: I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar.

Serendipity: I have issues with anyone who treats faith as a burden instead of a blessing.  You people don't celebrate your faith; you mourn it.

Bethany: You're saying that having beliefs is a bad thing?
Rufus: I think it's better to have ideas.  You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.

~

don't even get me started on Frank TJ Mackie!

[joesnuff]

Bethany: You're saying that having beliefs is a bad thing?
Rufus: I think it's better to have ideas.  You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.

ohhhhh man, that's a horrible belief (pun intended). don't get me started on this one!...

[Ariela]

Because I'm a dork and am up too late:

"Say Anything...."

Lloyd Dobler: I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

Lloyd: I am looking for a dare to be great situation.

Lloyd: She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.
(my favorite - this happened to me)

Lloyd: Joe, she's written 65 songs about you, and they're all about pain.

Lloyd: One question: do you need someone or do you need me?
Diane: I need you.

"High Fidelity"

Rob Gordon: Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.

Rob Gordon: How does an average guy like me become the number one lover man in his particular postal district?

Rob Gordon: I can't fire them. I hired these guys for three days a week and they just started showing up every day. That was four years ago.

Rob Gordon: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

Rob Gordon: It would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated. Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Instincts more developed. But there seems to be an element of that afternoon in everything that's happened to me since. All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one.

He has a zillion movies. More later.

[luceluna]

hehe, lucy and i are up at midnight reading your quotes and giggly inanely, hon

the pen one is fucking hilarious

what's the film?? is it the same director as high fidelity?

lucy just suggested we do some quotes from Superstar, one of the funniest films about a loser ever released:

Mary Katherine Gallagher: These are my BREASTS.  They're so BIG.  I need a BRA to strap them in.  This one is bigger than this one. This is the mommy breast and this one is the baby breast.  And they walk hand in hand, because they are FRIENDS!

Mary Katherine Gallagher: Oh my God!
Jesus: Oh my Me! How are you?
Mary Katherine Gallagher: It's going OK. Are you the Lord?
Jesus: Well, to you I am. See, technically, you're, like, in this REM sleep state, and I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God, some past authority figures, uh, Skye, and your dad. Basically, your subconcsious came up with me to help you deal. Dig?
Mary Katherine Gallagher: Yeah... uh, you want a glass of water or something?
Jesus: No, I'm good. I'm God!
Mary Katherine Gallagher: Oh. Right.

~~~

American Beauty: (i know everyone knows these but they're too good not to post in a quote thread)

Carolyn Burnham: Are you trying to look unattractive?
Jane: Yes.
Carolyn Burnham: Well, congratulations. You've succeded admirably.

Lester Burnham: Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's.

Ricky Fitts: It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

Brad: Got a minute?
Lester Burnham: For you, Brad, I've got five!

Angela Hayes: If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model.

[at the dinner table]
Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work.  Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?
Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars.  Pass the asparagus.
Carolyn Burnham: Your father seems to think this type of behavior is something to be proud of.
Lester Burnham: And your mother seems to prefer I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink.
Carolyn Burnham: How dare you speak to me that way in front of her.  And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you LOSE your job.
Lester Burnham: Lose it?  I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?"  I QUIT.  Someone pass me the asparagus.

[Rala]

Hey Dan,

if it's an x-files revisited night you want come and see me baby.. my parents just dumped me with a boxful of my old xfile videos (most of seasons 1-4 or 5 I think) + other collectable stuff that I want to sell off or something...

Yay for x-files  

~~~~~~~~~
Rala  ;D